Those poor oil sheiks
�March 8 (Bloomberg) — Crude oil surged to within $1 of an all-time high in New York, and gasoline rose to a record, on speculation that OPEC will do little to rein in prices at a meeting next week.�
This really burns my wazoo.
So, I called His Royal Highness, Sheik Ali Gotta Makealot of Dinero, a small but wealthy community just north of Riyadh, Saudi Arabia.
�Sheik, why can�t OPEC get together and reign in prices? Can�t you guys see that plunging the world into another recession would cut into your profits a lot more than a reasonable production increase would?�
�American infidels have been getting gasoline far below its market value for many years. After all, you�re paying half of what fuel costs in Europe.�
�Well, it�s not just Americans who suffer. After all, European prices are skyrocketing, as well.�
�Well, what you decadent western hedonists don�t realize is that life isn�t so cushy for us hard-working oil barons. After all, our gas prices have gone up too! I just paid 50 cents a gallon to fill my Rolls. FIFTY CENTS A GALLON!�
�I remember the first time I paid fifty cents a gallon. It was 1973.�
�Not only that, but we don�t make THAT MUCH profit. My swimming pools are going to pot because I can�t afford to hire college-educated caretakers. I have to settle for a small troupe of IMMIGRANTS. From PAKISTAN!�
�That�s a shame, sheik. You know, you�ve really changed my perspective on things. I feel your pain!�
I think I�ll ride my bicycle to work tomorrow.
